otrazhenie | Station 72 >> Mental Link

[ How convenient it is to be able to not care. ]

( All men are idiots to begin with. I can't imagine being as self serving as your kind is will do anything to ease the path. But if I have to listen to it, I refuse to endure whatever this... courtship is between you both.

Tell him. Plainly. In a way that not even he can be obtuse over. Bad enough I have to listen to you let alone dealing with your misery over him on top of every thing else you do. )

[ You are welcome. ]

[ What. Insert here the actual sound of Elena's brain short-circuiting. ]

( I-- What? I don't know what you're-- Damon and I are just friends. I'm dating his brother, Stefan. Not Damon. )

[ Denial, thy name is Elena Gilbert. Nevermind that she and Damon made out a few weeks ago, or that she might very well have chosen him that night on the road if she'd known that they would survive Klaus's 'death'. ]

( Is it enjoyable lying to yourself? )

[ WHAT. ]

( I'm not lying! I'm with Stefan. )

( Then why do I care about how blue his eyes are?

Because I certainly have preferences when it comes to men - even if he weren't a wretched beast, he would not be it. Believe me on that. )

( Just because I find him attractive doesn't mean I'm in love with him! )

[ Is she getting a little too defensive? Suspiciously so? Perhaps yes... ]

( Then start thinking about this Stefan that way. I am waiting. )

[ The watched sensation of someone crossing their arms and settling back. Go on then, she's waiting. She's waiting to hear it this great declaration. ]

( I love Stefan. I don't have to prove it to you or anyone else here. )

[ Except they can all feel what she does, right? They know her thoughts more often than not, thanks to her flimsy shields. So where she's trying for defensive indignation, she ends up with doubt and a desperate need to hide something she's not ready to admit to anyone, let alone herself. ]

( You are mistaken if you think I care about something like that. Whatever image you have to preserve of yourself isn't my concern. I know you for what you are. )

[ Just so we're clear: no vampo. She still!! Doesn't like you!!!

Still, even as she lets that sit - she meant to put the girl on her back foot. Meant to relieve some kind of burden to her, Shinji and Gil.

But what she's ended up with is - this. Damn it. She hovers in saying something that isn't her problem. Except it is, isn't it? And she can't ever do anything half way. She rubs at her forehead. Shinji was one problem, and now this. ]

( Our mind's do change. There isn't shame in that if you have not already committed yourself to marrying this Stefan. Until your engagement is made complete, you ought to be free to end it.

Especially to a man that isn't here when the one you cannot stop thinking about, watching, speaking too: is. )

[ She still hates you and wants you to die, just so you know. ]

[ Elena doesn't like you either, Lakshmi. ~~Except she'd really like to, actually.~~ You're making her question things she'd known with such unshakable certainty, she suddenly feels like she's back in the cab of that truck, water pouring in as fast as the tumble of emotions racing through her.

This isn't like what Katherine said. It's okay to love them both. This is actual advice on living her life here, on... finding happiness? Because Stefan isn't here, and she doesn't know if she'll ever see him again, but Damon... ]

( Why are you doing this? )

[ What's her motive for all of this? This woman, her broodmate, tried to murder her when they first met, and suddenly she's giving Elena relationship advice? It's so much easier for her to focus on the why than the advice itself while she tries to tread the emotional water threatening to rise over the top of her head. ]

[ And if she's looking for some sort of kind answer - even if Lakshmi did like her, she wouldn't know how to. That woman died a very long time ago.

For now, the cruel answer is the truthful one. ]

( Life is full of too much misery to waste it on being indecisive over the things that complete you. I don't want to have to go through it even strained through you of all things, it is unacceptable to me. )

[ Of all the possible answers Lakshmi could have given to that question, the one she thinks of as cruel is the one that resonates most with Elena. Hasn't her life been one miserable event after another these past few years? Losing her parents, Jenna, John, and Alaric. Watching her friends suffer because of the supernatural bullshit she keeps being drawn into. Dying and becoming a vampire. Everything in her hurts, emotional pain a constant companion... except for when Damon is near. When she's with him, things are a little easier, and she can almost believe that things will be okay eventually. ]

( I'm sorry that you're being affected by my emotions like this. I'll work on my shielding more so you won't have to deal with it as much. )

[ It's a sincere apology; she really does feel guilty that her broodmates are suffering because she can't get her act together. ]

[ There's a grunt of a thought that is flatly dismissive. Somewhere between I expected nothing useful from a vampire, and you are young and stupid of course you don't know how to moderate your emotions. ]

( See that you do. )

[ And as suddenly as she had spoken, she cuts it off in the slam of her great gate walls behind her. ]

COMPASSION never lose it	GRIEF
BLOOD	KATHERINE i look like her

Station 72 >> Mental Link

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