God. El. I found him. I fucking found him and. Just? I. Call me.
[ there's maybe a gap of time before she gets another. he thinks maybe she was asleep so like. y'know. but he's also a self important bitch, so when she doesn't answer, he has to prod again. and also he has more he wants to say. and also she's not allowed to ignore him. ]
El? You there?
[ there's less of a wait after that. like. twenty minutes. tops. ]
Elena?
[ okay, so he's not really that self important, but she's not exactly someone who is untimely with her responses so. ]
Elena. Are you okay?
[ he's trying to keep it plain enough, in case she just doesn't have the time. even a small, 'hey, gimme a bit,' would suffice. it's just unusual given how easy it is for them to talk to each other usually, which he certainly doesn't take for granted in the least. ]
Did something happen?
[ of course, when you don't get responses to these kinds of questions, it starts to get really worrying. like, 'hey, maybe they didn't just get distracted while going out to get some milk,' and more like, 'my dad never came back when he left to get cigarettes,' but as their previous conversations have dictated, elena isn't out getting cigarettes.
also there aren't any in the general store anyway. ]
Hey, starting to get really worried here. Just. Hit me up? As soon as you've got a minute.
[ except she doesn't. so it just gets worse. ]
Please answer. Just like two seconds. I need to know you're okay.
[ by now it's been more than ten hours since the first message. there's something really off, even if he can't place it. he can only hope it doesn't have to do with the crazy shit that's been happening, but he really doesn't know if elena will even answer, if she can break herself free from that moment so that eliot can keep her grounded, even if it's just his voice. ]
Elena, please. I'm really hoping this is just like some kind of elaborate joke because of the. Y'know. But. El. Fuck, I'm really worried? Text me back if you can't call. Just. Anything. Please.
[ it carries on like that, message after message of concern, something maybe a bit close to fear lingering in his voice, and not the kind she's heard before where he feels like he'll be swallowed whole. the kind where she would know how much she matters to him here, even if he can't say it with all the right words yet. there's fifty-four messages by the time she checks. from the timestamps, it seems he did give up at some point to sleep, but he was back at it again first thing, trying to make jokes to keep from panicking. ]
[ When Elena finally opens her tablet again to try to reconnect with Beacon after many long days of hiding in her apartment with Jon, she's honestly surprised to see so many messages. This isn't like back in Mystic Falls where she has a formidable group of friends who try to keep close tabs on each other. She's made some connections here, of course, but only a few feel like they could be something like what she'd shared with Bonnie, Caroline, or Matt. By the time she finally finishes listening to all of the messages, though, Eliot has very firmly moved into that category, whether he knows it or not, and after she's stopped crying she sends one of her own. ]
I'm so sorry, Eliot. I've had my tablet off for a while. I didn't mean to worry you.
[ The apology is sincere, the words laced with regret and sadness and... exhaustion. ]
[ the response is near immediate. he checked in every day, at the least. just in case. by the end, it felt like there was a high possibility she might have died, and the fact he hadn't been there to help makes it all the worse. ]
Elena. Oh, thank fucking Christ. Jesus. Are you okay? [ and he asks that not because she didn't answer it yet but also because there's something there, something tired in her voice. she would tell him if she died, right? ]
[ The immediacy of his response makes her chest tighten and she's almost on the verge of tears again. But she's trying not to wake Jon, so she steps out into the hall at the inn, leaning against the door and taking a few deep breaths before answering. ]
I'm okay. I just... needed some time. I'm really sorry, I didn't think—
[ some time, she says so simply after saying she's okay. it doesn't track. something happened, and she doesn't want to say. there's a part of him that had hoped they were beyond that point. that's the only way any of them will survive, right? trust. except even q seems to be thinking private things too, and--
mike isn't around mocking and grabbing at him anymore, but eliot can still hear the words. 'even if you don't kill them, they'll all leave you anyway.' he glances back to the door of the room he now shares with quentin and swallows thickly. ]
Did something happen? Because of the. Hallucination shit? Or was this like. Um. A sabbatical?
[ Closing her eyes tightly, she debates for a moment whether or not to lie. Wouldn't it be easier? Just pretend that everything is really fine, she's better now, nothing to worry about. It would be just like after her parents died, and after she lost Jenna... I'm fine and a smile that people will believe. But Eliot isn't like everyone else, he's not asking out of politeness and not really wanting to know the answer. He's asking and she can't bring herself to lie to him.
She needs someone to know. Someone to understand. So she slides down to sit on the floor, carefully shielding the light of her lantern with the blanket around her shoulders just in case someone happens to walk by. ]
Something happened in the woods. Just before the hallucinations stopped.
[ okay. so not a sabbatical. it's a joke he could make, but he knows it would just as easily distract from the gravity. there's defeat there, hidden in the words, something that doesn't want to be revealed, and a secret wished to be kept. that's not something you tread on.
his voice is as gentle as he can manage, just above a whisper as he moves further away from the door, finds somewhere more private. ]
Are you able to talk about it? [ he doesn't want to push her if she isn't ready. he respects her want to, but sometimes the words aren't there either. ] If it's a lot-- I mean, even the hallucinations were. A lot. So.
[ his hand itches to grab hers, but she's so far away. ]
I. This may be better in person. Would that be okay?
[ She doesn't want to talk about it. She wants it all to go away, for her to be okay with it instead of for the terror to be clinging to her even all these days later. But even as the urge to just shove him away rises, so too does the need to have him close. She doesn't want to talk about it but she needs to, and she knows without a shred of doubt that Eliot is the person she needs right now.
There are tears in her voice when she answers, emotion making her throat tighten as it becomes just a little harder to breathe. ]
[ he hears it so clearly, and it breaks his heart. he should have been there. he should have done something. it's such a familiar helplessness, that way he used to grasp onto anything soft, a pillow or blanket, and pull it tight to his body, trying to will away something terrible, for any kind of comfort, real comfort, only to be feel the cold, empty space around him ignore him all the same, remind him that the world will never have his back. he still feels it some days, washes it down with a few gulps from his flask. but he knows he never wants to be the one that walked away. ]
Where do you need me, El? Tell me where, and I'm there.
[ It's been a long time since Elena felt so alone and helpless. Even with Jon waiting in their bed, she feels desperately alone, the incident in the woods bringing up all sorts of things that she simply can't talk about with him. There are so many things they share, emotions and stories and support, but this can't be one of them. So to have Eliot reaching out like this now, to know that he's truly offering her this lifeline...
She sniffles loudly and pulls herself up off the floor, rubbing at the moisture in her eyes before picking up her lantern. ]
I'm at the inn. There's no one downstairs...
[ This would be better in her apartment or somewhere else hidden from view, but at least for now they won't have an audience. Hopefully, that won't change. ]
[ he knows that fear too, so his first words are to stop it before it gets very far. ]
I can cast a muting charm around us. [ and he leaves it at that. ] Be there in a few.
[ though only after he gets some things first. he grabs his satchel, a couple mugs and boxes of tea. refilling the canteen, he tucks that away too before throwing on his coat and trotting swiftly out the door.
he arrives as he says, a few minutes later, slightly winded, but no less concerned. the invincible is the most obvious choice for seating, so he looks for her there first. ]
[ She's surprised by how quickly he arrives, the little light of his lantern coming through the door feeling as bright as the sun. Back in a corner booth where they'll be out of the way, she still has the faded blue blanket wrapped around her shoulders like a shawl, covering the leggings and tank top she'd worn as pajamas. Her feet are a bit cold, bare against the floor because she hadn't thought to get shoes, but she doesn't care.
Lifting her lantern, she smiles genuinely, though it's small and worn. ]
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otrazhenie) wrote2018-05-07 10:48 pm
@regina; private, voice
[ there's maybe a gap of time before she gets another. he thinks maybe she was asleep so like. y'know. but he's also a self important bitch, so when she doesn't answer, he has to prod again. and also he has more he wants to say. and also she's not allowed to ignore him. ]
El? You there?
[ there's less of a wait after that. like. twenty minutes. tops. ]
Elena?
[ okay, so he's not really that self important, but she's not exactly someone who is untimely with her responses so. ]
Elena. Are you okay?
[ he's trying to keep it plain enough, in case she just doesn't have the time. even a small, 'hey, gimme a bit,' would suffice. it's just unusual given how easy it is for them to talk to each other usually, which he certainly doesn't take for granted in the least. ]
Did something happen?
[ of course, when you don't get responses to these kinds of questions, it starts to get really worrying. like, 'hey, maybe they didn't just get distracted while going out to get some milk,' and more like, 'my dad never came back when he left to get cigarettes,' but as their previous conversations have dictated, elena isn't out getting cigarettes.
also there aren't any in the general store anyway. ]
Hey, starting to get really worried here. Just. Hit me up? As soon as you've got a minute.
[ except she doesn't. so it just gets worse. ]
Please answer. Just like two seconds. I need to know you're okay.
[ by now it's been more than ten hours since the first message. there's something really off, even if he can't place it. he can only hope it doesn't have to do with the crazy shit that's been happening, but he really doesn't know if elena will even answer, if she can break herself free from that moment so that eliot can keep her grounded, even if it's just his voice. ]
Elena, please. I'm really hoping this is just like some kind of elaborate joke because of the. Y'know. But. El. Fuck, I'm really worried? Text me back if you can't call. Just. Anything. Please.
[ it carries on like that, message after message of concern, something maybe a bit close to fear lingering in his voice, and not the kind she's heard before where he feels like he'll be swallowed whole. the kind where she would know how much she matters to him here, even if he can't say it with all the right words yet. there's fifty-four messages by the time she checks. from the timestamps, it seems he did give up at some point to sleep, but he was back at it again first thing, trying to make jokes to keep from panicking. ]
voice; around 3am on Oct 25
I'm so sorry, Eliot. I've had my tablet off for a while. I didn't mean to worry you.
[ The apology is sincere, the words laced with regret and sadness and... exhaustion. ]
no subject
Elena. Oh, thank fucking Christ. Jesus. Are you okay? [ and he asks that not because she didn't answer it yet but also because there's something there, something tired in her voice. she would tell him if she died, right? ]
no subject
I'm okay. I just... needed some time. I'm really sorry, I didn't think—
cw: murder talk??
mike isn't around mocking and grabbing at him anymore, but eliot can still hear the words. 'even if you don't kill them, they'll all leave you anyway.' he glances back to the door of the room he now shares with quentin and swallows thickly. ]
Did something happen? Because of the. Hallucination shit? Or was this like. Um. A sabbatical?
no subject
She needs someone to know. Someone to understand. So she slides down to sit on the floor, carefully shielding the light of her lantern with the blanket around her shoulders just in case someone happens to walk by. ]
Something happened in the woods. Just before the hallucinations stopped.
no subject
his voice is as gentle as he can manage, just above a whisper as he moves further away from the door, finds somewhere more private. ]
Are you able to talk about it? [ he doesn't want to push her if she isn't ready. he respects her want to, but sometimes the words aren't there either. ] If it's a lot-- I mean, even the hallucinations were. A lot. So.
[ his hand itches to grab hers, but she's so far away. ]
I. This may be better in person. Would that be okay?
no subject
There are tears in her voice when she answers, emotion making her throat tighten as it becomes just a little harder to breathe. ]
That would be great.
no subject
Where do you need me, El? Tell me where, and I'm there.
no subject
She sniffles loudly and pulls herself up off the floor, rubbing at the moisture in her eyes before picking up her lantern. ]
I'm at the inn. There's no one downstairs...
[ This would be better in her apartment or somewhere else hidden from view, but at least for now they won't have an audience. Hopefully, that won't change. ]
> action
I can cast a muting charm around us. [ and he leaves it at that. ] Be there in a few.
[ though only after he gets some things first. he grabs his satchel, a couple mugs and boxes of tea. refilling the canteen, he tucks that away too before throwing on his coat and trotting swiftly out the door.
he arrives as he says, a few minutes later, slightly winded, but no less concerned. the invincible is the most obvious choice for seating, so he looks for her there first. ]
no subject
Lifting her lantern, she smiles genuinely, though it's small and worn. ]
I'm over here, Eliot.